A Polite Response to Our Angriest 2024 Reader E-Mail

We received an e-mail this year that’s stayed in my head for several months now, and I’m hoping some good might come from sharing it and posting a public response.

As you’ll see, the inclusion of Blind Melon and their 1993 hit “No Rain” on our list of 40 Biggest One-Hit Wonders did not sit well with one particular reader.

You can read their response for yourself, unedited except to remove the sender’s name:

Dear, Mr. Ultimate Classic Rock

Are you on drugs? Like a very one-hit good kind where you forget that music exists? You called BLIND MELON a one hit wonder, so I hope you have hangnails for the rest of your life. You need to be crucified for this and survive, with no food for two weeks on the cross; either that or the Chinese water drop method are the only appropriate forms of apology for this. BLIND MELON A ONE-HIT WONDER? EXCUSE YOU? DID YOU SNEEZE? DID YOUR FATHER BEAT YOU WITH A CD OF SOUP? You seriously deserve the highest legal form of torture in the world for this opinion, straight to North Sentinel Island. I apologize if my former comments seem a tad outlandish, and if you did have an abusive parent then it makes sense why you called Blind Melon a one-hit wonder. You must’ve got brain damage. That is the only reasonable solution to this capital error. I apologize for my former statements and they will also be retracted if you change this article and take Blind Melon off of it, otherwise, you are going to have to live the rest of your life as the actual IDIOT who called Blind Melon a one-hit-wonder.

My deepest condolences for the loss of your brain,

(NAME REDACTED)

(P.S., please lick the bottom of the dirtiest boot for even having this opinion.)

First, the “one hit wonder” facts: Between 1992 and 1996 Blind Melon released nine singles, and “No Rain” was the only one to reach the U.S. Billboard charts, peaking at No. 20. Their career was obviously and tragically cut short by the 1995 death of singer Shannon Hoon. (The surviving members have reunited twice in the last two decades, without any further charting singles.)

More importantly, exactly what’s wrong with being a one-hit wonder? There are millions of people who know (and we’d presume mostly love) “No Rain,” and who know exactly who you’re talking about when you say “the bee girl.” (If you somehow don’t, watch the video below.) That’s a massive cultural accomplishment, and one that countless artists try and fail to replicate every single day.

You’ll also notice that nowhere in our list does it say, “Blind Melon sucked and didn’t deserve to have any more hits” or “They only had one hit because it was their only good song.” And even if we did say that – which we wouldn’t – who cares? It’s just one opinion; why get so mad about what somebody else thinks? (And again, we didn’t offer our opinion on Blind Melon’s music at any point. My main memory of them outside of “No Rain” is as part of an amazing triple bill that was somehow only made better by a raging rainstorm, at Jones Beach in 1993.)

This is same kind of wasted energy as worrying about which artists are or aren’t in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. You know which music you love and which songs made your life better and nobody’s else’s take on them should matter so much that you call on them to be crucified or tortured, even in jest. Your record collection and your ticket stubs are your own personal Hall of Fame, and the only one that really matters. It’s great that you love Blind Melon enough to defend them this passionately, but jeez buddy, take the negative part of it down a notch. What say we start 2025 fresh?