As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis speaks out after videos showing apparent tense altercation with wife surface online

As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis has spoken out after videos showing a tense altercation with his wife have circulated online.

The two clips surfaced on social media earlier this week and appear to show Lambesis and his wife Dany arguing.

In one video, Lambesis can be seen flipping a table Dany was sitting at. Then, as she gets up to walk away, he attempts to intercept her and repeatedly punches himself while she asks him to stop.

Another video seems to show the couple in a bedroom having an argument – though there’s no audio included. Lambesis appears to be shouting and repeatedly getting in Dany’s face and grabbing her. He then begins punching himself before noticing the camera, picking it up and turning it off.

Now, Lambesis has responded, accusing Dany of domestic violence and alleging that she timed “these public attacks” after he served her with divorce papers earlier this week.

In a statement shared to Instagram, the singer wrote: “There is currently a restraining order and a domestic violence investigation being filed against Dany Norris (formerly Lambesis). Anything she is saying now is to distract people away from that to instead focus on my own inappropriate (but not illegal) reactions to these anxiety inducing interactions.

“This woman assaulted me and verbally/mentally abused me over 3 years,” he alleges. “I took the much needed and overdue step to leave her yesterday by delivering divorce papers. That is the reason there have been attempts at retaliation toward me online today that pale in comparison to what will really be the focus of the courts.”

Lambesis then goes on to detail alleged evidence that he says will be included in the court case, including “multiple videos” of Dany assaulting him, chasing him with “a knife or scissors”, and asking him to delete footage of her physically assaulting him while threatening further violence.

He also alleges he has photos of a black eye Dany gave him, as well as witnesses that can attest to physical violence threats if he attempted to leave the relationship.

Read his full statement below.

Dany has deactivated her social media account.

It follows two months of As I Lay Dying making headlines, after bassist Ryan Neff, guitarist Ken Susi and drummer Nick Pierce, all of whom joined the band in 2022, announced in October that they were quitting, citing “personal morals”.

That was then followed by the departure of guitarist Phil Sgrosso, who had been part of the San Diego metalcore group since 2003, leaving Lambesis as the sole remaining member. At the time, Sgrosso said the departures were due to the band no longer offering “a healthy or safe environment for anyone involved – whether creatively, personally, or professionally. After witnessing some concerning patterns of behaviour, I’ve realised that I can no longer, in good conscience, enable further actions that could negatively affect anyone working within this space.”

Then, earlier this month, Lambesis’s side project Austrian Death Machine lost their drummer Brandon Short, who announced his departure on Instagram writing: “For the sake of my mental well-being and personal beliefs, and in light of the recent developments surrounding the As I Lay Dying camp and Tim, this has become an inevitable step for me.”

Short continued: “The repeated promises, the endless cycle of ‘I’ll do better’ – words that once gave me hope – have turned into a broken record that has brought no real change. Instead, I found myself trapped in a pattern that eroded my trust and my well-being. This cycle has reached into my personal life, affecting my mental health in ways I can no longer ignore.”

Following the sudden departures, in October Dany issued a statement in response to rumours that Lambesis had abused her, saying she was “deeply saddened” by the allegations and that “there has never been an incident that warrants such accusations,” per Loudwire.

She went on to say: “We have had our relationship issues like many other couples, but nothing to the degree of domestic violence or what is being portrayed online.”

Lambesis was sentenced to six years in prison for plotting to kill his wife back in 2014. He pleaded guilty to paying a police officer posing as a hitman $1,000 (£630) to kill his then-wife, Meggan Lambesis. After being released in December 2016, Lambesis took to the band’s official Facebook page to post a lengthy statement, “apologising to everyone” for his actions.

The vocalist then reunited with the San Diego band in 2018, who released their first new song in six years with ‘My Own Grave’ and announced details of a homecoming show that summer. Longtime guitarist Nick Hipa would leave the band in 2020, with drummer Jordan Mancino and bassist Josh Gilbert following suit in 2022.

For help, support and advice regarding domestic abuse, visit Refuge here or call the freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.