Lil Nas X Breaks Down the ‘J Christ’ Backlash: ‘It Wasn’t My Chaos Anymore’

It’s been a few weeks since Lil Nas X made headlines for his controversial comeback single “J Christ,” and the singer is ready to talk frankly about the public’s reception of his latest track.

During his appearance on the podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty, the rapper explained that he felt the messaging of his song was taken out of context. “[‘J Christ’] was this thing that artistically was just supposed to be like, I’m returning … I’m back like Him, you know what I mean?” he said. “It turned into this whole thing where it was me trying to dunk on Christians or something, and that was never what it was. Never.”

Lil Nas agreed with some of the backlash, saying that the anger over a video of him eating communion wafers “looks really bad on paper,” adding that he did properly apologize for releasing that video. “This [was a] thing that I thought was just like a little jokey fun video. I also had to think about how many of my family members are Christian, like my grandmothers and stuff, and like aunties and things like that,” he said. “And I’m like, ‘Wow, do they see this as that too?’ If they do, you know, that’s really messed up. And it makes me sad.”

But the rapper said the he did not apologize for the song or the music video because he stood by his intended messaging. “That message turned around and I didn’t know how to do anything with it. It wasn’t my chaos anymore. It was the world’s and anything anybody said was true because that’s who I am as a person,” he said. “I’m this troll and I want to make these people mad. And so everybody can run with that. And there’s nothing I can do about that. I can say as many things as I want, but knowing my history, they look right, I look wrong.”

The interview comes after Lil Nas X spoke publicly about the release of “J Christ” in a video posted to his Instagram. In the original clip, the rapper explained that those online claiming that he was insulting Christianity with his song were mistaken. “I knew there would be some upset people simply because religion is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people,” he said. “But I also didn’t mean to mock — this wasn’t a f— you to the Christians. It was literally me saying I’m back like Jesus.”

Elsewhere in his interview on On Purpose, Lil Nas said that he’s now reflecting on what his future releases will look like, where his music will go in the future. “You’ve been so focused and zoned in on what you’re doing, and you push your art out into the world and it’s kind of received negatively by the majority … but then also understanding why, you know, and having to see it through,” he said. “So I guess that’s where I’m at right now and my next move, you know, the things that I’m planning on right now, I feel like somewhere in here that’s gonna be this magical moment that I can’t even take credit for.”

Check out the full episode of On Purpose featuring Lil Nas X below: