The Core: David Shaw

photo: Skylar Watkins

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The Revivalists frontman faces his demons head-on with his sophomore solo release, Take a Look Inside.

A Voice That Needs to Be Heard

It all started with “Take a Look Inside,” so that’s what I named the album. Sometime during the pandemic era—a little on the other side of it—I was coming out of a really stressful period. As most people know, I’ve been sober-ish for 15 years—no alcohol, no cocaine, none of the things that were really causing me some big issues back in the day. I still dabbled with a few things here and there, like a little weed sometimes. And I got curious about what was coming up when I did that. Why am I getting anxious? What is that about?

I do therapy every week, so I’m very versed in that. And it’s all about changing your relationship with anxiety, if you’ve got that thing going on. So I started doing these little meditation experiments to see what happens when this anxiety comes up and then I stuck with that. I didn’t run from it. I thought, “What does it bring up? What are my body, heart and mind trying to tell me?” I’d go out to my studio and do that for 20-30 minutes, and then I started to introduce mushrooms, psilocybin, into the experiment. Sometimes if you get a little too stoned, you get anxious—you start to freak out a little bit. So I was just experimenting a little bit, honestly, because I was always the guy that took one hit and said, “I’m good.”

Marley has a great quote: “When you smoke, it reveals you to yourself.” I thought, “What is under there that just keeps popping up that I keep pushing down?” So I started to do that, man, and I started to feel incredible. I used a little bit of what I know about IFS and found it worthwhile—the peace of mind that I got out of it, knowing that it wasn’t such a scary place in there.

These places that your mind can take you, they are not actually that bad. Sometimes it’s just a voice that needs to be heard and needs to be acknowledged because, at one point in time, it was a protector. It was doing a very important job for you. And then you didn’t really need it anymore, so you silenced it, but it’s still down there going, “Hey! I’m here!”

Caged Tigers

I’m still exploring psychedelics. It’s a very slippery slope, and I say that because people who have addictive personalities are very good at justifying certain things they do. I am very aware of that part of me—hyper aware. But then there’s the other part where it’s about the intention. If I order a Shirley Temple at a bar and the bartender makes it dirty and I take a big old sip of that and it’s got alcohol in it, the intent was for me to have a Shirley Temple. But if the intent was for me to microdose or heroic dose, and mine something in my psyche, then the intent was very different.

It’s about being brutally honest with yourself and going, “Dave, what are you doing here, bud?” For a long time, I felt like I was teetering on the edge. I was a tiger in a cage, with a T-bone hanging out in front of me. I’m older now—I’m not gonna say that I have a handle on it all because I know that, unequivocally, the first time I take a sip of a drink intentionally, I’m partying, its fucking over for me. I might be fine for 3-4 months, but I just know, at some point, the hammer is gonna drop. So that is one thing that I’ve closed the door on, and there are obviously other things I’ve closed the door on as well.

But, I was also like, “Man, I’ve got one life, and there’s certain things that I just don’t feel that bad about or that could possibly even help me.” I was giving them a negative stigma, and I needed to assess them for myself. Everyone’s got their own journey, and everyone’s got their own thing, and AA and NA are great. They help so many people. I just realized that I’m a hybrid of certain things, and that is fine with me. For a long time, I didn’t want to admit that or I was scared of what people might think because people look at me like I’m this picture of sobriety, like I’m ironclad. In a lot of ways, I am. But, in a lot of other ways, I needed to be softer with myself and I needed to be honest with myself. Maybe the T-bone’s still out there, but I’m not worried about it because I’m not in the cage anymore staring at it.

Relationship Tending

This whole solo project is about being curious—about myself, my art and how all that relates to the universe. I’m in this spot right now where I’m trying to stay as open as possible and not be too guarded because, for a while, I was so guarded and would say, “I’m just doing my thing.” Now I’m like, “Let me stay open. Let me just go with what is truly providing me with joy and try not to force anything or input myself in there too much.” A lot of these songs are stories. They’re things that have happened to me. There’s a lot of growth in this album, and some of the songs are talking about some really important shit, to put it in layman’s terms.

When you love somebody and you are in a relationship of some kind—it could even be with a friend or family member— you don’t always tend to the relationships that mean the most to you, that are the closest to you. That’s because they’re always going to be there. It’s a natural human thing, and everyone does it. It’s this delicate balance— tending to yourself and knowing that there is also this person right there.

My wife Sam and I, before we got married, we both said to ourselves, “We’re gonna do some couples therapy.” I’m the type of person who, in the past—I think I’m way better at it now—would shut down when we had an argument. And that’s absolutely, unequivocally, not the way to go about it. And she had her own things—I’m not going to say that she was a saint in this story, and she wouldn’t tell you that either. We all have our things. But we started therapy because we were both taking all of the shit that we never wanted anyone to know— especially not our significant other—out from under the rug and sharing it with this person who we were about to share the rest of our life with.

We both looked at each other, at one point, and we were like, “Are we gonna make it?” But we just held on to our bond. I truly believe that she’s my soulmate, beyond any bullshit. So that’s what the tune “When You Love Somebody” involves. There’s those lines in it: “When you love somebody/ They can hurt you more than anyone.” Love has two sides to it. Love can make you feel so high, but love can also make you feel like you are the smallest thing if it’s unrequited, if it’s just not happening.

Heavy Things

My sister Christy was going through a really tough time, and I was really trying to be a confidant in her life, and then, when I was looking back— because sometimes you don’t really know where these songs come from—I was thinking about what was going on in my life, and I realized I was writing “Arms of the River” for her. My boy Pete Murano and I wrote the song together, and he said, “This is it; this is the vibe.” The message is universal. I wanted the chorus to be something that could make you feel weightless. I wanted to bring a lightness to her heart because I felt like she had a heavy heart, and music can take a little bit of that heaviness off of you. It was something I could do for her. And it worked the way I hoped it would. Now, she’s calling me up and texting me like, “No one’s ever done anything this nice for me,” and I’m like, “What? You deserve it all, Christy. You are everyone’s champion.” She has been my number-one fan since day one, and she’s the sweetest person. The picture on the cover [of the single] is us as kids.

Mini Guru

I was writing while Sam was pregnant, and the tune “Guru” popped out of that feeling and that thought. Sam’s always been my guru. I learned so much from her. But now I’ve got a 9-month-old guru, and I’m learning so much by seeing the world through her eyes. I don’t want to sound cliché, but it’s just so true. Every little moment with her, everything is so special and everything is new. She’s seeing everything for the first time—she’s holding an avocado in her hand for the first time, she is experiencing these things that are just so banal to us at this point. It really gives you a renewed sense of joy and zest for the little things. Anytime I get down on myself or think, “Oh, God, I don’t know about today,” I just try to think about it like, “Hey, I’m just so grateful to wake up.” It’s like Christmas morning whenever I get to wake up and pick up my daughter. So I’m blessed. When she was born, I had a bit of a writing explosion.

Soft-Hearted Souls

We did the album at Esplanade Studios, and it’s the first time that I produced every tune, which I’m very proud of. I’ve worked with a lot of producers and I’ve played that role a little bit in a number of situations, but it has never fully landed on me, which was absolutely terrifying in one respect but also extremely freeing.

I always want to be a student of life and I’m always learning, never closing that door. But this time, I found my voice and realized some of the strengths that I have. Certain abilities poked out. When it’s just sink or swim, you gotta put your own life jacket on. I realized that it’s all about bringing that positive energy, making people feel good, even if they are not killing it right now. If they feel good, then they’re going to get there. I’ve worked with some people before and they’re jaded. I totally get it because this industry can really beat you down if you’re a soft hearted soul and you are getting lots of “nos.” It can be tough, but we didn’t come across too much of that this time. Everyone was just awesome.

We did 10 songs in seven days, which was a lot. That’s top to bottom, which is insane. It’s never been like that for me. Chris Gelbuda played all the bass and a lot of guitar on the album. I also played acoustic guitar and PJ Howard, who plays in the Revs, did all the drums. I would put his feel up against anybody. Andriu Yanovski played keys and piano, and I had my boy Pete in for a few days. And I can’t forget Mack Major, the engineer, because he was a very integral part of it and the engineer often doesn’t get thought of. And then Andrew Dawson mixed it.

When we tour, it’ll be most of the people who played on the record, though Chris won’t be there because he’s having a baby. But we have Noah Young, who plays bass, and John Maestas is playing guitar with us. Pete also plays with us quite a bit, but he’s doing Shorty stuff right now. But I’m sure you’ll see him along the way. Our live show is going to be drawn from both records, and we are gonna do a few cover songs. We might even play a Revivalists song or two that will be revamped in some way. We’re running the catalog a little bit. We might have a little bit of an acoustic-breakdown section in the set, where it’s totally stripped back. So we’re just going to try a few things out and try to hold the energy.

Near Misses

We just played Sea.Hear.Now. It’s a big festival, but it didn’t feel that way. It felt like it had a little bit of that hometown magic to it, which is so special. I played a few songs in Danny Clinch’s gallery, and Robert Randolph sat in with The Revivalists as well. He’s such an adaptable player; he has such a musical mind. There’s a breath of fresh air when you hear him play that’s just incredible. But my daughter, she’s a little Petri dish. She got me sick, so I did all I could do to get my voice ready for the set. We were supposed to do the after party where Bruce [Springsteen] showed up. I tried but I just blew my voice out on the festival set. I had nothing, man. It was one of those moments—“Oh, man, I would have had the chance to play with Bruce.” But I’m at the point in my life now where I believe everything happens for a reason—even the bad shit, like missing Bruce. It wasn’t meant to be that night. Something else is in store, whatever it is. And I’m here for it.