The Year in Fictional Music

Every year, pop culture gets a new class of pop stars, and also a new class of fake pop stars. We’re talking about fictional musicians like Spinal Tap, Powerline, and Dewey Cox—artists who only exist in movies and TV shows. They might not be real, but their music and fame undoubtedly is. 

So let’s see who from 2024 will be joining the ranks of Josie and her Pussycats.

Artist: Skye Riley

As seen in: Smile 2, played by Naomi Scott

Hit song: “New Brain”

Who is she: A Grammy-winning pop star haunted metaphorically by her past and literally by a demon known as the Entity.

Could be a stand-in for: Lady Gaga, from aesthetics to haircut to proximity to dudes who grin like Joker.

Might collab with: Adele, since she was seen in Skye’s phone contacts in the movie. Also, if Skye doesn’t become a brand ambassador for Voss water, she’s leaving money on the table.

Likeliness of real-world success: High. Her songs would fit seamlessly into any playlist alongside Chappell Roan or Billie Eilish. 

High point in 2024: Coming back from 2023’s tragedy to perform again!

Prediction for 2025: Not coming back from 2024’s tragedy. But her last performance will be VERY viral.

Artist: Lady Raven

As seen in: Trap, played by Saleka

Hit song: “Save Me”

Who is she: A pop/R&B singer who recently sold out Philly’s Tanaka Arena and worked as a narc for the F.B.I.

Could be a stand-in for: Her fandom screams Taylor Swift, her music skews Rosalía, and her crime-fighting is classic Clarice Starling.

Might feud with: Dads with secrets, Sabrina Carpenter after she mocks Raven’s self-serious demeanor

Likeliness of real-world success: Mixed. Her choreo would find a following on TikTok, but she’s better at catching murderers than melodies.

High point in 2024: Trapping the Butcher!

Prediction for 2025: Appearing in M. Night Shyamalan’s next movie. 

Artist: Lorna Wu

As seen in: Agatha All Along, played by Elizabeth Anweis and sung by Seomoon Tak

Hit song: “The Ballad of the Witches’ Road”

Who is she: A bewitching folk-rocker from the late ’70s who’s also an actual witch, backed by her band, the Coral Shore.

Could be a stand-in for: Stevie Nicks.

Might feud with: Agatha Harkness, Lindsey Buckingham out of witch solidarity

Might collab with: Daisy Jones & the Six

Likeliness of real-world success: In a world where today’s youth are into Fleetwood Mac, very likely. 

High point in 2024: Breaking an old family curse!

Prediction for 2025: Inspiring even more covers, catching up with her daughter in the afterlife.

Artist: Dale Ferdinand Kobble

As seen in: Longlegs, played by Nicolas Cage

Hit song: “Fire Fire Hiss Hiss,” which—fun fact—is Kobble’s last known musical recording before, quote, “the voices took over.”

Who is he: A failed glam rocker who’s pivoted to serial killing.

Could be a stand-in for: Tiny Tim or dark alternate universe Lou Reed.

Might collab with: Satan

Likeliness of real-world success: If he’d had success, the Birthday Murders might’ve been avoided. Thanks a lot, glam rock gatekeepers of the ’70s!

High point in 2024: His single finally got released!

Prediction for 2025: Posthumous reappraisal, at least two true crime podcasts. 

Artist: August Moon

As seen in: The Idea of You, played by Nicholas Galitzine, Dakota Adan, Jaiden Anthony, Raymond Chan, and Vic White

Hit song: “Dance Before We Walk”

Who are they: A super hot, internationally famous boy band.

Could be a stand-in for: One Direction, even if they deny it.

Might collab with: Your mom.

Likeliness of real-world success: Beyond likely. The group actually charted multiple times on Billboard.

High point in 2024: Being the first boy band to headline Coachella!

Prediction for 2025: Member Hayes Campbell quits the band to go solo as a “serious” singer-songwriter (who still sleeps with older fans).

Artist: Girls5eva

As seen in: Girls5eva season 3, played by Sara Bareilles, Renée Elise Goldsberry, Paula Pell, and Busy Philipps.

Hit song: “B.P.E.” (“Big Pussy Energy”)

Who are they: One-hit wonder girl group from the ’90s, now back at it in their 40s after being sampled by rapper Lil Stinker.

Could be a stand-in for: An American Spice Girls

Might collab or feud with: Ideally? Mariah Carey. Realistically? Tracy Jordan. But really? Anyone who’ll have them.

Likeliness of real-world success: Solid, if TRL or mall tours make a comeback.

High point in 2024: Sold out Carnegie Hall, thanks to member Summer’s ability to weaponize ticket resale bots!

Prediction for 2025: Reuniting at member Wickie Roy’s wedding to the Lunch Lord.

Artist: Lady Parts

As seen in: We Are Lady Parts season 2, played by Anjana Vasan, Sarah Kameela Impey, Juliette Motamed, Faith Omole, and fifth member/manager Lucie Shorthouse.

Hit song: “Villain Era”

Who are they: An all-female, all-Muslim, all-badass punk band in London.

Could be a stand-in for: The Slits, Bikini Kill, The Linda Lindas—they come from a rich heritage.

Might feud with: The patriarchy, music labels, family members, you if you’re annoying.

Likeliness of real-world success: If they sell out, high. So probably not.

High points in 2024: 1) Releasing their debut album! 2) Leaking their debut album as a free download in protest!

Prediction for 2025: Invited to play Glastonbury, but telling them to piss off.

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